Over Valentine’s Day, I was terribly amused by this article in the New York Times, featuring personal ads from the nineteenth century.
There was some discussion over on Facebook about what a Pink Carnation personal ad might look like. Elizabeth Willse, journalist extraordinaire, suggested: Horticulture enthusiast seeks same for dances, lemonade, witty banter, a spot of espionage, leaving notes on pillows, and taunting the French?
So here’s your challenge: to create the perfect Pink personal ad. It can be from any character in any of the Pink books, for any purpose: romantic, professional, horticultural.
The first round of the contest will close next Monday, March 1. Once all the entries are in, we’ll open it up for Round Two: voting for the three best entries. The three winners will receive signed copies of whichever Pink book they most desire.
Let the ads begin!
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Independent and self aware lady seeking a man in uniform who can avoid snakes and is not afraid of friendly fire or intelligence. Card players need not apply.
Energetic older lady seeks a man not afraid of explosions, mummies, or trashy novels; must be able to dodge umbrellas.
There are my two best 
by Stephanie Ball
on February 22nd, 2010 at 8:02 pm
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Spinster seeks companion for treks across continents, espionage, and the exploring of crypts. Must be unafraid of parasols and possess some knowledge of gothic novels.
Maniacal French operative seeks new petals for the rose. Must possess raven hair and a flawless complexion. Those unaware of the meaning of the Black Tulip need not apply.
Distinguished bachelor seeks witty companion for the exchanging of quadruple innuendos. Deceased wives need not bother.
by Cho
on February 22nd, 2010 at 9:03 pm
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Why should the men have all the fun? Seeking lovely ladies of the ton to join an all-female espionage group. Must be beautiful, intelligent, quick-witted, and preferably titled. Bonus if you already have a clever floral nickname ready. We pose as flighty, spoiled women during the day, so must be able to convincingly act like a giggly imbecile on demand. Contact Amy or Henrietta at spygirls@yeoldeinternet.com.
by Christine
on February 22nd, 2010 at 10:59 pm
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Poet seeks statuesque goddess from last night’s ball, a peerless jewel in Albion’s crown, to be subject of sumptuous sonnets. Meddling younger sisters need not apply.
by Claire
on February 23rd, 2010 at 12:02 am
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Sick of the French? Sick of the English? Done with all of India? How about a nice Welsh lad! Nice, good humored, good looking lad seeking similar gal. Red heads preferred. Those with Dowager relatives discouraged.
Dastardly French spy seeks competent adversary. Current adversaries fall in love, get married, and retire at alarming rates. Seeking English counterpart with no intentions of any of the above. Must enjoy a good game of cat and mouse, lose gracefully, and have abundant determination to try again. Flower named spies given preference.
by Erica D
on February 23rd, 2010 at 12:10 am
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[...] Mini-Contest! | Home [...]
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Single woman searching for a man that is willing to travel behind enemy lines. Not be afraid of throwing caution to wind and not afraid of explosions and gunfire. Preferably needs a man that likes a girl who wears many costumes. French spies need not bother apply.
by Carole
on February 23rd, 2010 at 5:30 pm
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*to THE wind (why do I always forget the ‘the’?)
by Carole
on February 23rd, 2010 at 5:33 pm
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Young English blossom seeking a man of high intelligence, one who will encourage her to bloom and grow in any way she sees fit. Knowledge of the world and of gardening is always an encouraging sign, but willingness to learn even more important.
by Megan
on February 23rd, 2010 at 7:52 pm
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Responsible young woman seeking intelligent and mature bachelor. Must be able to deal with honesty and fierce tenacity, and mustn’t mind a few freckles. Men fawning over past romances need not apply.
Bookloving young woman seeking her Prince Charming. Must be willing to catch her when she falls and help her hunt unicorns. Childhood memories a plus, but declarations of love in front of the royal family not appreciated.
Fiesty redhead seeking verbal sparring partner. Should be accepting of a lady with a past and possess a good seat. Men in uniform given precedence.
by Jordan
on February 24th, 2010 at 12:18 am
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Dark-haired temptress seeking clever cohort. Must possess a sharp-tongue and a knowledge of Shakespeare. Black and silver attire a plus.
Brave young woman searching for a dashing, lanky gentleman. Must be friendly and mustn’t mind an overprotective older brother. Appreciation of a good singing voice and fresh-baked ginger cookies a plus.
by Jordan
on February 24th, 2010 at 12:30 am
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Ardent poet seeks pulchritudinous horticulture enthusiast. Must be able to decode sesquipidal odes to your prodigious loveliness. Will be your most loyal servant and worship at the alter of my muse. Tulip enthusiasts need not apply.
by Katelin
on February 24th, 2010 at 1:59 am
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Feisty spinster is in search of a minion to aid in thwarting the French. Must be possessed of a a quick wit, keen intellect, and iron constitution. A scintillating personal life that provides inspiration for Horrid Novel a definite plus. It is imperative that you have an extreme distaste for the First Counsel. You must be unafraid of explosions, French operatives, and parasols. No Dullards need apply.
by Katelin
on February 24th, 2010 at 3:57 pm
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Single red haired female seeks handsome Englishmen with golden hair, winning smile and dreamy accent. Interesting ancestors a plus, but not required. Must be up for watching the occasional Errol Flin movie and enjoy late night hot cocoa.
Intelligent, resourceful Lady seeks clever Gent with a passion for secret affairs and a little de cape et d’épée. Horticultural knowledge a plus,
Anyone inneed not bother.
by Jenna Labutka
on February 24th, 2010 at 6:24 pm
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Intelligent, resourceful Lady seeks clever Gent with a passion for secret affairs and a little de cape et d’ epee. Horticultural knowledge a plus,
Anyone in Napoleons pay need not bother.
Sorry I last post didn’t turn out right
by Jenna Labutka
on February 24th, 2010 at 6:26 pm
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Smart, Quiet Lady seeks athletic, intelligent, witty and daring man with whom to dance, discuss literature, run around gardens and dress up with.
by Alex
on February 24th, 2010 at 11:04 pm
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DESPERATELY SEEKING THERAPIST!
Help needed to end silly, “man code” quarrel between best friends. Must be Patient, successful, and capable of keeping flower sized secrets. If you are up for the challenge, please contact Ms. Amy Selwick and Henrietta Dorrington, two wives at their wits’ end.
by Emily S
on February 26th, 2010 at 1:58 am
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DESPERATELY SEEKING THERAPIST!
Help needed to end silly, “man code” quarrel between best friends. Must be Patient, successful, and capable of keeping flower sized secrets. If you are up for the challenge, please contact Ms. Amy Selwick and Henrietta Dorrington, two wifes at their wits’ end.
by Emily S
on February 26th, 2010 at 2:55 am
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Princess of stories seeks White Knight to share the adventures of life with. Some tarnish allowed, but must have a kind heart, honor, and a sense of humor, as well as a tollerance for books.
by J
on February 26th, 2010 at 2:38 pm
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Sheep needed to help in Shepherdess disguise. Only those with allegiance to England need apply.
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[...] all! Just a reminder that the current mini-contest is still up and running! You have until midnight on Monday to craft a devilishly clever personal ad [...]
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Seeking a lady of the ton, with a taste for fine clothes (mine) and a bit of fun, but no skulking about or anything else havey cavey, eh what. Fondness for root vegetables and garden flowers a plus.
- T. Fitzhugh
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Seeking pretty small girl with dark curly hair. Preferably of French descent. Must like the horrid poetry I write and enjoy my mother’s rose garden. Must ADORE my favorite green (and completely un-froglike!) best suit. I can offer a nice estate (minus spinster Aunt), poetry (see above), and an abundance of good looks. Come ladies! This dandy needs a dandelion! Please send all inquires to Derek.
by Erica D
on February 27th, 2010 at 6:19 pm
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I just realized i wrote Trashy instead of horrid in post #1. Please consider it edited.
by Stephanie
on February 27th, 2010 at 8:55 pm
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Bookish grad student from across the pond seeks intriguing gentleman. Relatives with closets full of undiscovered, historically significant correspondence and an interest in spies a plus. Must enjoy grilled cheese. Please leave your sister at home.
by Sheila B
on February 27th, 2010 at 9:26 pm
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Unfortunately-nicknamed chap seeks handsome lady with an appreciation for fashion of a horticultural nature. Love of root vegetables is a must. (Author’s note: I say! What sort of havey-cavey business is this personal ad idea, anyway?)
by Rebecca W.
on February 28th, 2010 at 2:06 pm
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Personal ad placed by Miss Mary Alsworthy: Eligible lady seeks titled gentleman for flirtation and amusement.
Tired of the ton, bored by the crowd at Almack’s? Then consider strolling along the Serpentine with the lady voted most likely to marry an Earl in 1802.
Likes: sizeable fortunes, silver-shot hair, and witty repartee
Dislikes: fickle former fiances, meddlesome matrons and overcooked puddings
Gentleman only; boys need not apply.
by Alexa J
on February 28th, 2010 at 5:32 pm
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ginger-haired student searching for an englishman with a great accent, grand home with a library (preferably filled with old family letters, diaries, and notes) and must love flowers and hot cocoa.
by amanda b
on March 1st, 2010 at 1:32 am
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Intelligence poet desires muse. She is not plain of face, though her visage may alter. She is perceptive of all, her will does not falter. She spies, I see. But could she love me?
by anna
on March 1st, 2010 at 6:27 am
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on the note of that last one. I cannot wait for Jane’s Book.
by Stephanie
on March 1st, 2010 at 5:15 pm
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Woman of a certain age seeks gentleman unafraid to duel for her. Must love dogs. Should tolerate canes, as well as dragons of the human variety. Ability to laugh at young men jumping from ballroom windows a plus.
Woman of a certain age seeks companion for adventure. Must tolerate research for horrid novels. Activities may include absconding with Swiss gold, blowing up houses, and dueling with parasols. Excellent posture and etiquette required.
by Jessica
on March 1st, 2010 at 11:39 pm
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Older woman seeks much younger man for masque balls, Twelfth Night dinners, and general cavorting. Come join me in my palanquin of love. Wit is a plus. Will not tolerate namby-pamby nonsense. Email: dowager@dovedale.net
by WendyW
on March 2nd, 2010 at 12:24 am
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An older lady seeks a man,
preferably of a Briton clan,
who can always understand
the poetry of our beloved land.
I am known far and wide
for the play the French could not abide.
Love, like my theater, should explode
and perhaps I’ll allow you in my abode.
Inquiries to Lady E. Box 555
by WendyW
on March 2nd, 2010 at 12:33 am
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(Please note that the previous poem was intentionally awful – I really can write poetry – I promise.)
by WendyW
on March 2nd, 2010 at 12:35 am
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Hmmm apparently the website is not on eastern time… It’s still March 1st in MA. Do my entries still count?
by WendyW
on March 2nd, 2010 at 12:38 am
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Absolutely! Midnight was more of a vague guideline…. It translates to: anything that is up here when I wake up on Tuesday morning.
by Lauren
on March 2nd, 2010 at 12:43 am
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[...] everyone’s favorite delusional butler to the dowager@dovedale.net. (You can find the entries here and here.) Your mission? To list your three favorites, in order of [...]
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I like #17 and 11
by Lindsay Garner
on March 2nd, 2010 at 11:41 pm
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I like #3 “spygirls”.
I also like #5 Dastardly French spy seeks competent adversary. Current adversaries fall in love, get married, and retire at alarming rates. Seeking English counterpart with no intentions of any of the above. Must enjoy a good game of cat and mouse, lose gracefully, and have abundant determination to try again. Flower named spies given preference.
And the one by Stiles.
by Debra Callaway
on March 3rd, 2010 at 10:13 am
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I think #20 is a riot!
Also like #31. It captures Duchess Dovedale really well
by Ayesha
on March 3rd, 2010 at 12:53 pm
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I like #12 the best – the “ardent poet” by Katelin. My second place would be the “French spy” & third would be the “Welsh lad”, both in #5 by Erica.
by Yvette
on March 3rd, 2010 at 5:54 pm
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I like 3 and “yeoldeinternet.com” .Also 26 with the “I say”.
by Sheila B
on March 3rd, 2010 at 8:21 pm
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5- the “Dastardly French spy seeking competent adversaries”
13 and 20 as well, please!
by Veronika
on March 4th, 2010 at 11:25 pm
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#17
#11
#29
by Rhonda E.
on March 5th, 2010 at 2:32 pm
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1. Deceased wives need not bother.
2. No. 17
3. No. 4
by amy
on March 5th, 2010 at 11:55 pm
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[...] entries. Well, and from clutching my sides laughing. For those who haven’t read through the entries, I highly recommend it. Warning: your ribs will [...]
